In “An Evening of Blues and Separateness”:http://bookoflife.blogs.com/welcome/2004/06/blues_and_separ.html Denny Coates writes about his observations at a social event:
bq. I’m aware that most of the people I encounter in my world are part of the mainstream, and I departed from that a long time ago. This evening, I was aware that most of these good people were operating from a set of assumptions that I no longer relate to. In the old days, my feeling of separateness might have been called “alienation.” In truth, I’m happy with my perspective. It’s what allows me to be true to myself, to be real, to encounter, as best I can, the world as it is, without expectations or assumptions. Which is my source of happiness and spirituality. But I do sometimes feel like a “stranger in a strange land.”
I found a resonance with my own feelings in this post. A few years ago, whilst doing my NLP training, I rediscovered an image from my early years that seemed to have affected a lot of my life - I remember when I was 5, in my first year of school, I was set some extra work (allegedly a “bright” child!) and for some reason the teacher sent me outside to work in the corridor.
From exploring this image during my training I began to see the impact it had had on my life and the power it had as a metaphor of seperateness - a conflict between “doing well” and connecting with my peers. Now as a mature man I have learned how to feel connection, how to engage and associate in the moment but the “boy outside the classroom” remains - I have learned how to use his power rather than fear what seperateness and difference might mean, to appreciate the insights he still sends me.
Some of the questions that come to me as I think about the people Denny calls “the mainstream”: do they not feel this, or do they get a hint of it and as a result try even harder to connect and conform? Are people like Denny and I gifted or cursed? Are we shamans or (incipient, potential) sociopaths? Are we over or under developed? It’s all about perspective and framing I suggest…
Denny responded to some of these questions in the “comments”:http://bookoflife.blogs.com/welcome/2004/06/blues_and_separ.html :
bq. Are independent thinkers gifted or cursed? Surely there are the downsides, the so-called alienation, which can bring acute discomfort if one lets it. Personally, I’ve learned to cherish my separateness as the best part of me; it’s what makes everything else work. It’s kind of like living in a state of ambiguity, but that’s cool, because so much of life is truly unknowable anyway. Living that truth makes for a lot of excitement. It’s certainly not a worldview I would promote to anyone, however, but simply something that helps me affirm my own life in my own way.
Similar-but-different to how I feel about it. For me the “boy outside” contributes to at least two aspects of who I am today. In part he has turned into the observer part of my mind - able to stand back even when the rest of me is fully engaged and take a look at what’s going on. It’s a great attribute for coaching or negotiating or any kind of face-to-face communication - although one that is almost impossible to explain to people. The other descendant is my independence of thought - although I have my upbringing to thank for that as well - my father in particular managed to put across the message that you should make your own mind up, especially about the important things.
Technorati Tags: Psychology, Self_Development, Spirit
Elizabeth Lane Lawley points to an AP article that refers to this project on the psychological and health benefits of expressing gratitude for the good things in your life.
The idea that there is a relationship between thoughts and health is not a new one in the NLP field. See for example the Institute for the Advanced Studies of Health.
What is interesting is to see how scientists are now finding ways within the scientific paradigm to prove the existence of these effects - for example the whole field of PsychoNeuroImmunology.
Coming back to the spirit of Liz’s post, in the extended entry is my own gratitude list…
(more…)
Technorati Tags: NLP, Psychology, Spirit
Euan points to a motivating quote by Jack Ricchiuto :
bq. In our communities of work, trade, life, faith, and practice, we need to have conversations about what we most deeply care about as we form karmic images of our personal and collaborative futures. We need to inspire one another in ways never thought possible before. We gain nothing by pretending we lack this power. We gain everything by honoring it.
I found the Rilke quote powerful too:
bq. You must give birth to your images. They are the future waiting to be born. Fear not the uncertainty you feel; the future must enter you long before it happens
Technorati Tags: Spirit
Choosing Forgiveness descibes itself as “dedicated to the challenge of witnessing to forgiveness in a non-forgiving world”.
The friend who sent me this link quotes one of the documents on the site thus:
“All forgiveness is self-forgiveness. Your experience of the world is the result of your combined state of thought and feeling - your arena of consciousness. If your experience of the world is a result of your state of consciousness, then if you hate anyone, you are disliking a part of yourself.”
Although the original document for the quote is explicitly Christian (the
web site is not overtly Christian by the way) I think these words are
sufficiently human-centred to hold a truth whatever particular brand of
spirit you choose to believe in.
Technorati Tags: Spirit
In his October Winsights column Win Wenger encourages us to think of ourselves
as a rather complex swirl of confluent possibilities, interacting with other streams of possibility amidst larger overall flow.
Win has some fascinating ideas, and I find it intriguing how his scientific approach to stretching the human mind seems to have so much in common with certain ancient teachings.
While you’re “over that way” why not check out his May 2001 article “What Does It Mean to be You?” where he asks
“Is it significant to be who you are and to do what you are doing? [...] How much of what I am today is me and how much is chance? [...] IF we do proceed on the presently questionable assumptions that we ARE individually unique and that our choices and actions DO have significant meaning, we have at least a somewhat better chance of meaningful achievements than if we don’t thus proceed. Given those alternatives, the presumption seems justified on the grounds that, as of yet in this snapshot moment of unfolding civilization and history, we have yet to unfold the right questions, much less the right answers. [...] There are things your eyes have seen that no other human eyes have seen � thoughts you’ve thought (consciously or no), insights and appreciations you’ve arrived at. [...] I don’t think that I am cultivating illusion by holding open richer possibilities rather than prematurely precluding them. [...]Along the way, though, I do have to wonder at our system of justice and of judicial punishment[...]it’s clear that the system’s operation as a deterrence to crime leaves something to be desired[...] [also] I see three sectors of boundless opportunity which we are woefully underplaying:
- the raising and educating of our children.
- The rapid development of space, in the solar system and possibly beyond.
- Human life-extension.”
And while I was catching up on Win’s site this caught my eye.
“I fully intend to be around for many afternoons to come, but were I to die this afternoon, this is one thing I will want to have gotten said:
‘Hear one another out. Draw each other out. And when it’s your turn to be speaking, pay far more attention to what you are actually perceiving than to what you know. And don’t repeat yourself much. The universe is infinite: by attending your own perceptions, you are infinite. And so also is that person you are drawing out. Even the least of us is a window on God, whatever your definition.’ “
Technorati Tags: collective_intelligence, Psychology, Spirit
Facebook
